The idea of the “perfect therapist” shows up early in training and lingers far longer than most clinicians expect. At first, it is quiet, an internal checklist of how we are supposed to be: calm, insightful, attuned, culturally aware, boundaried, […]
Supervision
17 posts
In clinical work with couples, one of the most practical yet underutilized tools is the relationship agreement. The term itself can sound rigid, even legalistic, but its clinical function is far more dynamic. A well-built agreement is not a rulebook […]
If you are early in your career and searching for supervision, you are probably focused on one central question: how do I get better at therapy? That is a reasonable starting point. Most training environments reinforce it. They emphasize learning […]
As a new therapist, one of the most important skills you will develop is not just how to ask questions or deliver interventions. It is how to listen, and just as critically, how to speak. Language is one of the […]
What Therapy Can Help You Understand When You Want Different Things Some relationship conversations feel bigger than the words being spoken. This is one of them. When one partner says they want an open relationship and the other does not, […]
Some of the most meaningful moments in my work supervising new therapists arrive when a brilliant intern runs into a wall that has nothing to do with intellect. Picture a composite of many supervisees I have worked with over the […]
If you are seeking clinical supervision early in your career, you probably have a short list of hopes. You want support. You want clarity. You want to walk into the room feeling more confident. All of that is valid, and […]
Couples therapy tends to treat infidelity as a relational problem: broken trust, poor communication, needs that went unmet. Those elements are real, but the frame is incomplete. To work effectively with affairs, clinicians have to start from a more fundamental […]
Sexuality sits at the core of identity, attachment, and how people function in relationships. And yet talking about sex in therapy remains one of the hardest things for clients to do. It is common for someone to spend months, sometimes […]
When couples come to therapy after an affair, treatment usually gets framed around communication, rebuilding trust, or restructuring the relationship. Those pieces matter. But there is another variable that quietly determines how therapy unfolds, and it rarely gets the attention […]
When clinicians hear the phrase healthy sexual expression, most default, often without noticing, to behavioral metrics. The first questions tend to sound like: How often is the client having sex? With how many partners? Are they using protection? Those questions […]
Infidelity is often the most misunderstood issue for therapists working with couples. It is commonly seen as a straightforward violation, often sexual, but the truth is much more complex. In reality, infidelity isn’t a fixed concept; it varies based on […]
One of the most persistent and clinically consequential assumptions in relational work is the idea that sex and intimacy are the same thing. That equation runs deep in our cultural narratives, but it is neither universally true nor therapeutically useful. […]
Few issues destabilize a couple like an affair. Infidelity arrives in the therapy room not just as a relational rupture but as a crisis of meaning, identity, and emotional safety. When a couple asks, “Can we recover from this?” they […]
When non monogamy first shows up in the therapy room, many clinicians feel a jolt of confusion, and often a wave of concern right behind it. A client mentions that they or their partner are dating other people, and the […]
As a supervisor, one of the most common mistakes I see in early career psychotherapists is moving too quickly to interpretation. You have been trained to make meaning, to identify patterns, to name dynamics. Those are good instincts. But in […]
If you are a newer therapist looking for clinical supervision, chances are you have already spent years absorbing theory. You have studied the models, sat through the trainings, and passed the exams. You can explain CBT, EFT, psychodynamic concepts, and […]