Dr. Tyler Rich Supporting Growth, Healing, and Professional Development
Dr. Tyler Rich

List of References for the training on

Clinical Treatment of Infidelity

Book Recommendations Training Reference Page

Book Resources for The Clinical Treatment of Infidelity

This training offers a structured, clinically grounded introduction to the clinical treatment of infidelity, equipping therapists with practical tools to navigate one of the most complex challenges in couples work. From conceptualizing infidelity as an attachment injury to outlining a clear session-by-session roadmap, the material emphasizes trauma-informed care, effective assessment, structured disclosure, and the integration of EFT and Gottman interventions. It is particularly valuable for clinicians seeking concrete language, frameworks, and strategies to manage high-conflict dynamics, support accountability, and guide couples through stabilization and repair. Everything listed below, from the training overview to professional development, offers a curated set of book recommendations for the clinical treatment of infidelity. All book resources and references were used in the Intro to the Clinical Treatment of Infidelity training.

Everything listed below is from training overview to professional development, offering a curated set of book recommendations designed to deepen clinical knowledge and expand competency in the treatment of infidelity.

Book resources to give to clients who are healing through an affair.

  • After the Affair, Third Edition: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful by Janis A. Spring
    • After the Affair by Janis A. Spring is a practical guide addressing emotional betrayal and rebuilding trust. It provides a clear framework that holds the partner accountable, supports healing, and offers steps for repair or separation. An accessible, useful resource for couples and therapists after infidelity.
  • Getting Past the Affair: A Program to Help You Cope, Heal, and Move On–Together or Apart by Douglas K. Snyder
    • Getting Past the Affair by Douglas Snyder, Donald Baucom, and Kristina Coop Gordon is a research-based guide helping couples navigate infidelity’s aftermath with clarity. It features a step-by-step program with practical exercises and a balanced approach for coping, understanding, and deciding whether to rebuild or separate. Valuable for clinicians and couples, it combines empirical methods with actionable tools, though its structured format may feel more like a guided program than an emotional exploration. 
  • The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst by Michelle Mays 
    • The Betrayal Bind by Michelle Mays provides a clear, attachment-focused view of betrayal trauma, emphasizing the paradox of seeking safety from the betrayer. It explains betrayal as a multi-layered injury affecting identity, emotion, and relationships, and offers a structured healing path. Essential for clinicians and clients, though its depth may need careful integration into therapy.
  • What Makes Love Last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal by John Gottman, Ph.D., Nan Silver 
    • What Makes Love Last? by John Gottman explores trust and betrayal, showing how daily interactions strengthen or weaken relationships. It introduces ideas like “sliding door moments” to help couples build trust and avoid disconnection. This accessible resource benefits both clinicians and couples aiming to safeguard their relationships.
  • The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel 
    • The State of Affairs by Esther Perel explores infidelity with cultural depth, challenging assumptions about why affairs occur and their meanings in modern relationships. Using clinical experience and case examples, Perel examines desire, identity, secrecy, and relationship dynamics, promoting a nuanced view beyond betrayal stereotypes. While provocative, it’s a useful resource for clinicians aiming to understand the deeper themes behind affairs.
  • Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel
    • Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel examines how long-term security can lessen desire, emphasizing the need for balance between intimacy and autonomy. It introduces “erotic intelligence” to help couples sustain passion while maintaining emotional bonds, offering useful insights for clinicians and couples.

Book resources for a therapist working on the clinical treatment of affairs.

  • Handbook of the Clinical Treatment of Infidelity by Katherine Milewski Hertlein 
    • Handbook of the Clinical Treatment of Infidelity, edited by Katherine Hertlein, is a comprehensive resource integrating various theories for understanding and treating infidelity. It features leading experts discussing relational, individual, and technological factors, providing conceptual depth and practical strategies. An essential reference for clinicians adopting a multidimensional, evidence-informed approach to assessment, disclosure, and repair.
  • The Practice of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy: Creating Connection by Susan M. Johnson 
    • The Practice of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy by Susan Johnson offers a structured approach to help couples’ connection through attachment-based interventions. It translates theory into practice with step-by-step guidance, case examples, and interventions that help therapists manage distress, de-escalate conflict, and foster secure bonds. An essential resource for clinicians aiming to facilitate lasting change in couples. rebuild emotion
  • The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples by John M. Gottman, Ph.D. 
    • The Science of Trust by John Gottman explores how trust develops and endures through emotional attunement, rooted in decades of research. It introduces concepts like the “Sound Relationship House” and micro-interactions affecting trust. More technical than his popular books, it’s a vital resource for clinicians seeking an evidence-based understanding of couple dynamics and intervention.
  • 10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy by Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD 
    • ’10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy’ by Julie Schwartz Gottman offers a practical framework grounded in decades of research on relationship success and failure. The book highlights key therapist skills, focusing on structure, assessment, improved communication, conflict management, and building trust. It’s an accessible resource for clinicians seeking concrete guidance to enhance the effectiveness of couples therapy.
  • The New Marriage Clinic: A Scientifically Based Marital Therapy by John M. Gottman, Ph.D.
    • The New Marriage Clinic by John Gottman offers a research-driven approach to therapy, based on decades of studies on relationship stability and divorce prediction. It introduces assessment tools and strategies to improve communication, manage conflict, and strengthen emotional bonds. Although technical, it is a valuable resource for clinicians seeking an evidence-based model for couples treatment.
  • Re-Visioning Family Therapy: Addressing Diversity in Clinical Practice by Monica McGoldrick 
    • Re-Visioning Family Therapy by Monica McGoldrick expands traditional models by integrating cultural, gender, and social justice perspectives. It urges therapists to go beyond one-size-fits-all methods, emphasizing understanding clients within their sociocultural and systemic contexts. A key resource for clinicians aiming for greater cultural competence, inclusivity, and diversity awareness.
  • Full Disclosure: How to Share the Truth After Sexual Betrayal by Dan Drake
    • Full Disclosure by Dan Drake offers a structured, clinically grounded approach to navigating disclosure after sexual betrayal, emphasizing honesty, accountability, and emotional safety. The book provides guidance on preparing, pacing, and delivering disclosure to minimize harm and support healing for both partners. It is a valuable resource for clinicians and couples, especially those dealing with the betrayal trauma recovery framework.

Book resources for working with trauma.

  • Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A Guide and Map for Recovering from Childhood Trauma by Pete Walker
    • Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving is a compassionate guide blending Pete Walker’s expertise and personal experience, providing a clear roadmap for healing childhood trauma. It offers accessible tools like managing flashbacks, addressing shame, and fostering self-compassion, valuable for survivors and clinicians or depth and validation, some may find its language dense or less empirically grounded, so it should be integrated with broader trauma frameworks.
  • Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy with Trauma Survivors: Strengthening Attachment Bonds by Susan M. Johnson 
    • Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy with Trauma Survivors by Susan Johnson integrates attachment theory and trauma treatment, offering a clear framework for working with traumatized couples. It shows how unresolved trauma disrupts bonds and provides practical EFT interventions to create safety, process injury, and rebuild connection. Valuable for therapists looking to deepen skills at the trauma-relationship intersection.
  • In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness by Peter A. Levine, Ph.D.
    • In ‘An Unspoken Voice,’ Peter Levine offers a groundbreaking view on trauma, showing healing happens through reconnecting with the body’s self-regulation, not just cognitive insight. Using neuroscience, clinical experience, and somatic techniques, Levine explains trauma is stored physiologically and can be released through mindful awareness of bodily sensations and responses. The book is influential and rich in clinical insight, but its dense, body-focused approach may need careful integration for those used to traditional talk therapy.
  • The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D. 
    • The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk reshapes trauma understanding, showing how it’s stored in the brain and body, affecting emotion, memory, and relationships. It combines neuroscience, case studies, and treatments like EMDR, yoga, and somatic therapies, offering pathways to healing. Although dense, it’s a key resource for therapists seeking a thorough, research-based understanding of trauma and treatment.
  • Betrayal Trauma: The Logic of Forgetting Childhood Abuse Reprint Edition by Jennifer Freyd 
    • Betrayal Trauma by Jennifer Freyd introduces a theory explaining how people may unconsciously forget childhood abuse when the abuser is someone they rely on for survival. The book argues that betrayal, not just fear, is central to trauma, with dissociation and forgetting serving as adaptive survival strategies in attachment. It is a foundational, thought-provoking work that enhances understanding of trauma, memory, and attachment, though its depth needs careful integration into therapy.

Below is a list of the articles that were used in this training.

Atkins, D. C., Eldridge, K. A., Baucom, D. H., & Christensen, A. (2005). Infidelity and Behavioral Couple therapy: Optimism in the face of betrayal. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 73(1), 144–150. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-006x.73.1.144

Bird, M. H., Butler, M. H., & Fife, S. T. (2007). The process of couple healing following infidelity. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, 6(4), 1–25. https://doi.org/10.1300/j398v06n04_01

Charny, I. W., & Parnass, S. (1995). The impact of extramarital relationships on the continuation of marriages. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 21(2), 100–115. https://doi.org/10.1080/00926239508404389

Drake, D., & Caudill, J. (2021). Full disclosure: Seeking Truth After Sexual Betrayal – Volume Two for Partners: Preparing for Disclosure on Your Terms.

Fife, S. T., Weeks, G. R., & Gambescia, N. (2008). Treating Infidelity: an Integrative approach. The Family Journal, 16(4), 316–323. https://doi.org/10.1177/1066480708323205

Freyd, J. J. (1996). Betrayal trauma: The Logic of Forgetting Childhood Abuse. Harvard University Press.

Freyd, J. J., Deprince, A. P., & Gleaves, D. H. (2007). The state of betrayal trauma theory: Reply to McNally—Conceptual issues, and future directions. Memory, 15(3), 295–311. https://doi.org/10.1080/09658210701256514

Gordon, K. C., Baucom, D. H., & Snyder, D. K. (2004). AN INTEGRATIVE INTERVENTION FOR PROMOTING RECOVERY FROM EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 30(2), 213–231. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1752-0606.2004.tb01235.x

Gordon, K. C., Baucom, D. H., & Snyder, D. K. (2008). Optimal Strategies in Couple Therapy: Treating Couples Dealing with the Trauma of Infidelity. Journal of Contemporary Psychotherapy, 38(3), 151–160. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10879-008-9085-1

Gottman, J. M. (1999). Marriage clinic: A Scientifically Based Marital Therapy. W. W. Norton & Company.

Gottman, J. M. (2011). The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples. W. W. Norton.

Gottman, J. S., & Gottman, J. M. (2015). 10 Principles for doing Effective Couples therapy. W. W. Norton & Company.

Gottman, J., & Silver, N. (2012). What makes love last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal. Simon and Schuster.

Hall, J. H., & Fincham, F. D. (2006). Relationship Dissolution Following Infidelity: The roles of Attributions and Forgiveness. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 25(5), 508–522. https://doi.org/10.1521/jscp.2006.25.5.508

Hertlein, K. M., Piercy, F. P., & Wetchler, J. L. (2013). Handbook of the Clinical Treatment of Infidelity. Routledge.

Johnson, S. M. (2005). Broken bonds. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, 4(2–3), 17–29. https://doi.org/10.1300/j398v04n02_03

Johnson, S. M. (2011). Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy with Trauma Survivors: Strengthening Attachment Bonds. Guilford Press.

Johnson, S. M. (2012). The practice of emotionally focused couple therapy: Creating Connection. Routledge.

Josephs, L. (2017). The dynamics of infidelity: Applying relationship science to psychotherapy practice. In American Psychological Association eBooks. https://doi.org/10.1037/0000053-000

Levine, P. A., PhD. (2010). In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness. North Atlantic Books.

Makinen, J. A., & Johnson, S. M. (2006). Resolving attachment injuries in couples using emotionally focused therapy: Steps toward forgiveness and reconciliation. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 74(6), 1055–1064. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-006x.74.6.1055

Martin, J. S., Ghahramanlou-Holloway, M., Englert, D. R., Bakalar, J. L., Olsen, C., Nademin, E. M., Jobes, D. A., & Branlund, S. (2013). Marital status, life stressor precipitants, and communications of distress and suicide intent in a sample of United States Air Force suicide decedents. Archives of Suicide Research, 17(2), 148–160. https://doi.org/10.1080/13811118.2013.776456

Mays, M., & Csat-S, M. M. L. (2026). The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst, Second Edition.

McGoldrick, M., & Hardy, K. V. (2019). Re-Visioning Family Therapy, third edition. Guilford Publications.

Perel, E. (2009). Mating in captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence. Harper Collins.

Perel, E. (2017). The state of affairs: Rethinking Infidelity. HarperCollins.

Shrout, M. R., & Weigel, D. J. (2017). Infidelity’s aftermath: Appraisals, mental health, and health-compromising behaviors following a partner’s infidelity. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 35(8), 1067–1091. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407517704091

Snyder, D. K., Baucom, D. H., & Gordon, K. C. (2007). Getting past the affair: A Program to Help You Cope, Heal, and Move On– Together Or Apart. Guilford Press.

Spring, J. A. (2008). After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful. Harper Collins.

Van Der Kolk, B., MD. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Penguin.

Walker, P. (2013). ComplexPTSD : from Surviving to Thriving: A Guide and Map for Recovering from Childhood Trauma. Createspace Independent Publishing Platform.

Warach, B., & Josephs, L. (2019). The aftershocks of infidelity: a review of infidelity-based attachment trauma. Sexual & Relationship Therapy, 36(1), 68–90. https://doi.org/10.1080/14681994.2019.1577961

Woolley, S. R., & Koren, R. (2025). Using the Woolley motivation typology to heal infidelity with emotionally focused therapy. European Journal of Mental Health, 20, 1–10. https://doi.org/10.5708/ejmh.20.2025.0035